i've been having some trouble with this question. friends and family support your decisions in what's best for you. right? well how come when you decide the best thing for you is to die everyone gives you ten tons of hell and does their darndest to make you feel guilty for even thinking about it? my being a wuss to violent means is enough of a barrier considering my CNS depressant tolerance is enough to accrue an ungodly expense in the undertaking. on top of it all these folks, whose lives are troubled by my very existence, take my valiant offer to lighten the load as a personal affront and have me committed time and time again. i'll admit being committed does wonders for a frail ego. you now are a phychotic. that's your reason for flipping out. you're no longer an ordinary weakling who can't handle the pressure. i'm a SPECIAL case. they swarmed all over my apartment with those dog-catcher things while i was on the roof smoking crack. i'm touched. it's like getting a prostate exam.